Day 15 : Thursday 11th May

Overnight I had a small bit of spotting. The nurse said to expect it at about day 10 and my body has always been a bit slow.

The scan is at 9:45 so I get a bit of a lie in, which is nice. Of course my body clock has decided this isn’t going to happen. 

Just before leaving the house the spotting turns to something more like a period, with cramping. 

(Later)

I’m now on my way to work. The cramping is worse because of the scanning jabber that prodded inside my bits! 

The morning was nice as OH came with me, we had breakfast together and cycled to the station together. It meant we could have coffee after too, which was lovely. It makes it very difficult to go into work!

I thought I had to have a full bladder for the scan so drunk water like a crazy person and walked in practically crossing my legs. The receptionist said “just go to the toilet and we’ll call you in”. Thank God! I guess it is a hazard having your head between the legs of someone desperate for a wee, poking around close to their bladder.

Anyway, as she was moving it all around up there she said “perfect uterus” and “good ovaries”. Shucks! It is always nice to get a compliment. The condom they use on the probe split, which was a bit embarrassing because it made a twanging sound and made her jump. It also meant she had to ask me to retrieve it after the scan, which meant I had to reach in and pull it out in front of her. I forgot about the mountains of lube and it was all a bit of a slippery mess! Wiping yourself in front of someone else is never glamorous. I then had to get dressed using one hand so as not to get lube all over myself because the sink was on the other side of the room. OH was just waiting silently on the other side of the curtain with a nurse and another doctor, making no sounds. I think it was more awkward for them than me!

Everything is moving along nicely, the Progynova stops now and Gonal injections start tomorrow. Another nurse went through everything for the Gonal injections, she was amazing. Homerton have been so good. These hormones are kept in the fridge and the needle is like an epi-pen you put in your leg. I think I can handle this one more than the stomach one.  The pen is prefilled with medicine and you use a gauge to set it to the right amount before stabbing yourself. There are screw on needles you use each day. She was so good, so friendly and supportive, I feel confident I can do this. She also said the bleeding is normal, I’ll have something like a period now for the next few days. 

We have a counselling session tomorrow and the first scan to see if the eggs have developed on Wednesday. It is all rushing through now! It is happening so quickly.

The second doctor in the room with us is doing a research study and asked if we could be a part of it. There is a precedure used in private IVF clinics where before embryo transfer they do a recce. It is called a trial embryo transfer, kind of like scouting out the location and doing a run through before doing the real thing. I signed up for it because I think it is important to help with medical research, especially as there is minimal risk to myself. If anything it can help the success rates. I’ll be under general anaesthetic anyway so it is no skin off my nose (or other area of the body).

(Later)

I’ve just written a long paragraph about how my boss was difficult when I got in and I’ve deleted it. He has his own problems which are just as important to him as my IVF is to me. I can’t want other people to give me a break if I’m not giving them one. He might not have spoken to me today because he wanted to avoid giving me stressful signals, which is thoughtful and not rude. I instantly jump to the thought that I’ve offended someone or I’ve done something wrong so they are not talking to me.

I also need to let these things go, even if someone appears to be rude to me I cannot let it get to me, I have more important things to be thinking about. I cannot let others influence my emotions so much. I’ve had some positive news that it is progressing well and I’m not letting anything get in the way of that. 

I’m even embracing these period cramps! The faithful heatable dog is coming out again tonight. If this is the worst pain I experience in this whole process that isn’t too bad.

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